Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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