i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
