In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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