I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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