Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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