go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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