You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
