the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
