How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
