And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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