Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
