i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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