I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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