seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
