He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
