oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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