At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
