i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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