it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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