so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
