He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
