ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
where are my eyebrows?
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