Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's the barista slut.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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