too bad you live with your parents still
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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