He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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