I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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