i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
