I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
