I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
