Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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