"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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