We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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