She's JV to your varsity
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
