she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
