Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I skipped work to stalk him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
