She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
