Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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