it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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