so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
