i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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