His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
