maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
