As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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