so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize