Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
