Dual....:-)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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