I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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