Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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