okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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