Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
