woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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