After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
