if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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