Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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