The maid of honor just puked.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
