No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
