Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
