So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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