just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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