Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
