why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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