I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
