suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
