if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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