curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
