I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
