ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
